Alienate your friends and widen the growing rift between you and your family by slipping these AUTHENTIC, EXPERTLY-CRAFTED Alternate Monopoly Cards into the deck the next time you play! Printed on thick yellow and orange stock–very similar AND YET LEGALLY DISTINCT from the colors used in the actual game! Freud defined DAS UNHEIMLICHE as “the opposite of what is familiar”–pervert the gentle expectations of those NEAR and DEAR to you!

“But Cohen,” you mew, “we never really play Monopoly anymore!” Listen friend, I’m not here to diagnose the difficulties of your home life. I’m here to monetize my madness. I couldn’t give a tinker’s damn what you do with these things, but in truth, I know that you will find a new and beautiful use for them even if Monopoly is not your family’s port of call. Hand them out to new colleagues in lieu of a business card! Stuff them surreptitiously into the pockets of strangers on the street! The universe is an asylum–why not recast yourself as the doctor, with these as your prescriptions? Comes with 15 cards, 7 of one color, 8 of the other.